A friendship - Spaghetti with courgette flowers and goat's cheese

This post was going to be all about how I’m happy there is a Farmers’ Market near my office on Thursdays now and how excited I was to find that one of the stalls had courgette flowers and how I bought some and made the plate of pasta pictured above and of which I give the recipe below.

I was also going to bemoan the fact that in Italy you can buy courgette flowers at the supermarket, but here in London to get some you need to get yourself into a trekking adventure fit for the Lord of the Rings trilogy.

However, I find myself compelled to go down another route and bore everyone with a friendship drama.
A drama that is irrelevant to everyone else, but me.

But this is my blog, so hey-ho. Skip to the recipe if you want – I won’t take offence.

How do you know when a friendship is about to dance its Swan Song?

Is it the snide remarks that seem to pepper every single conversation you have?
Is it the lack of effort in meeting and catching up?
Is it the being accused of the above when, in fact, you feel like you are the one trying?
Is it the fact that you are no longer considered important enough to admit to a joke or to mocking?

I feel pushed into a corner by someone whom I care very much about; someone who has clearly decided I’m no longer good friend material and instead of walking away and letting me feel a dignified sadness has made me feel like I’ve done something wrong.

Don't get me wrong, I have in the past been the one to decide that a friendship had ran its course and distanced myself from someone exactly to avoid growing more and more annoyed at them and treating them badly when the choice was all mine.

No, I don’t think I deserve to be treated like this.
Like I’m one of the people my friend used to dislike and now rubs shoulders with.


I haven’t changed. I think my friend has.
My friend has admitted to feeling down, sad and out of sorts – How can I help if all I do and try to say is met with contempt?

I’ve tried and I don’t think I can do much more.
I’m upset, angry and at the same time look at what I have and try to accept things.

I somehow hope we will talk about it and that it’ll all come out to be a big misunderstanding.
I have been hoping that for quite a while now.
I’m not so sure it’ll happen, but no harm in hoping, aye?!


Courgette Flower and Goat's cheese pasta


Serves 2


8 baby courgettes with flowers
250gr spaghetti (I used whole-wheat on this occasion because consistency is pretty decent even if you buy them on the cheap. Don't knock 'em!)
2 garlic cloves crushed
1 dried chili
1tbsp extra virgin olive oil
1 cup white wine
1 tbsp roughly chopped fresh mint
150gr goats cheese roughly chopped


Bring a pot of water to the boil.


Julienne the courgettes and flowers and set aside.


Heat up the olive oil in a frying pan with the garlic and chili over a high heat.
Add the wine and let it reduce (4-5 minutes)
Add the courgettes and sautee for a couple of minutes.
Add the flowers and sautee for 2 more minutes.
Remove the frying pan form the heat, add the cheese and mint and mix well.


Pour the pasta in the pan of boiling water and cook to packet instructions minus 2 minutes (I always find that packet instructions make you cook the pasta too long + you will finish it off in the frying pan anyhow!).
Drain the pasta when ready keeping 3 tablespoons of the water it's cooked in.


Put the pasta and its water in the pan with the courgette and cheese mix, put over a medium heat and finish cooking for a minute mixing continously.


Add a little extra virgini olive oil as an afterthought and serve!