I don't. I do. I don't. Maybe I do - Winter slaw

I’ve always had a love-hate relationship with hazelnuts.
Well, mostly hate.
OK, pure hate.

It’s been frustrating watching hordes of people dunking spoons or fingers in Nutella jars, licking the innards of a Ferrero Rocher, snapping big bars of chocolate jewelled with the offensive little fuckers for all these years.
I felt left out whilst staring from the side lines; desperately trying to understand how people could possibly enjoy them.

To be fair, I wasn’t a big fan of nuts (cue inappropriate jokes – Go on, I know you want to) up until a few years ago and hazelnuts are my last hurdle.
I have to find a way to eat them. HAVE TO.
It’s a question of principle now.

And so I buy a little bag of hazelnuts in the local store; a mere 100 grams to see what happens.
I inspect them gingerly, get them out of the bag, smell them (Nope. No smelling, Carla, this ain’t gonna help), halve a handful and put them in with stir-fried brussel sprouts for Christmas dinner.
Brave, but I could always pick them out.
And I don’t; I actually eat them all and enjoy the dish.
Maybe I do like hazelnuts after all.

Hope.

And then I put them in a salad.
I didn’t have pine nuts, nor almonds or pecans which are my nuts of choice for big salads.
So I put another handful of hazelnuts in, because why the hell not (and I don’t like buying bags of stuff when I already have something relatively similar in the cupboard already)
This time I don’t like them.
I leave them all on the side of the plate.
Looking at me forlorn.

But I don’t give up.
There’s still one more handful in that bag and by God I’m going to give it one more try.
I decide to make a winter slaw like the one here.
Only I don’t have cabbage, nor fennel or almonds.
I have Brussels sprouts and shallots and hazelnuts.
And so I make the slaw with a dressing following the original and base ingredients courtesy of my cupboard.
And I liked the hazelnuts again.
In fact, I think the recipe would not have worked without the hazelnuts.

Conclusion: hazelnuts are to be eaten solely with Brussels sprouts.
Other variations are not currently accepted.


Winter Slaw (Adapted from Honest Fare) Serves 4

300gr Brussels sprouts
2 small shallots finely sliced
50gr hazelnuts roughly chopped
1 garlic clove crushed
½ cup Natural Yoghurt
1tsp poppy seeds
1tsp honey
Juice of 1 lemon
Salt and pepper to taste (I used white pepper)
A splash of cider vinegar
A splash of water

Blanche the sprouts in a pot of boiling water – 5 minutes.
Drain, run under cold water and let cool on kitchen towel for about half an hour.

In the meanwhile make the dressing by mixing garlic, yoghurt, poppy seeds, honey, lemon, vinegar, water, salt and pepper.
Whisk nicely and put to one side.

Put the shallots and hazelnuts in a big serving bowl.

Now, if you are a normal kitchen person you’ll have a mandolin which you can use to slice your sprouts very thinly.
If you are like me you will use a cheese grater on the big holes side and finish off the  leaves that are more reluctant to let themselves be grated by mincing them with a knife.

Put the grated sprouts in the bowl with the shallots and hazelnuts, pour the dressing over it.
Mix with your hands. Don’t be prissy.

Eat.

It tastes better the next day.Despite the hazelnuts.

The wonders of granola. Homemade that is.

Why on earth have I never written about granola before?! 

I mean, I have been playing with the idea for over a year and did lots of research for the perfect recipe in the form of scoffing endless boxes of the stuff and always decided I didn’t like them at all so I had to make my own.

HAD TO.

And I finally did – For bloody Christmas 2011.
Better late than never.

I mean, what could go wrong with something I'd never made before?
It looks easy enough!
And then the horror stories of forgotten granolas in the oven for an extra 5 minutes coming out as dark as the night started pouring in.
Oh dear...

2 nights before Christmas day I decided to try my luck anyhow - Worst case scenario I'd share some of the All Bran I was keeping in the cupboard.
You know, to help with digestion and that.
Mum was doing something or the other (possibly cleaning the flat and scrubbing the walls of our fridge to my delight) and dad was sitting in the kitchen, suggesting bits to add and what not, pouring wine...

I tried my best to drink that wine as slowly as I could just in case I got too distracted and disaster in Burnt Granola form struck.

Nothing [bad] happened.
In fact, it came out just fine.

Well, for my taste that is.

You see, what I like the most about granola is the fact that there isn’t such a thing as the perfect spice/nuts/fruit mix – It varies very much from person to person and you can add or remove whatever you want.

As long as there are oats, honey/maple syrup and a little bit of vegetable oil involved it will be. Just. Fine.

And then you pour it into a bowl with yoghurt and more honey. Or apple sauce. Or some berries sauce. Or marmalade. Yes, I think marmalade would work too.

And you have it for breakfast.

Or you just put your hand in the jar and pick it out every time you walk past.

Not that I’d do that.

Ever.

[My] Ultimate Granola

Makes around 10 servings (depending on how greedy you are...)

2 cups large oats
1/2 cup flaked almonds
1/2 cup pecans roughly chopped
1 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp ground ginger
1/2 tsp ground long pepper (or normal black pepper if easier)
1/4 tsp salt
1/8 cup vegetable oil
1/4 cup maple syrup (or honey)
1/4 cup packed brown sugar (optional)
1/2 tsp vanilla extract
1/4 cup green pumpkin seeds
1/2 cup dried cranberries

Preheat the oven to 160C (gas mark 3)
Line a large bakign tray with baking paper.
In a bowl mix oats, nuts, coconut, spices and salt.
In a separate bowl stir together the oil, sugar, maple syrup and vanilla.
Pour the wet mix over the oat mix and stir until well coated.
Spread out onto the baking sheet.
Bake for 20-30 minutes - stiring every 10 minutes - until golden.
Remove from the oven and mix in the pumpkin seeds and cranberries.
Let it cool completely and store in a preserving jar (it will last about a month in there)